rate
This afternoon at about 4.18pm laying on my bed, suddenly this song was played on 88.3FM. 非你莫屬 by TANK(our song, only frens will know why hehe). Upon hearing this song being played, my tears just kept flowingdown. All the memories jus start to flashback in front of me, seems to me like a movie. All starting from the begining to now, all the happy and unhappy moments. This song really trigger me to think carefully and deeper regarding our relationship.
Ever since 9 Aug 7.15pm, i tried to controll my tears, trying hard to makr my life happy and most importantly busy. Believing that even if this relationship is put to a stop, i will not shed a tear, i wont miss, i will be strong, i can be happier. BUT NOW! I truely know the answer from my heart. Despite all the unhappiness and insecurity from months back, i still love him so much. During these few days of grace period, yes, it is a time-out, but it just dont seems like. Reason: 两个都不舍得，就是放手。Maybe its me only? I have no idea...
12Aug after FYP!!!! WOOSHH! RElax time start! CLUBbing with the gals.. Fanni, Eileen, Stacey and myself.. Butter Factory, it was our first time there.
Comments : Not bad
Music : R&B (My favourite)
Drinks : Power... never add water de.. Strong!
Was high, was nearly drunk, hahaha... God!
Next time gals, lets go again.
Now there is nothing much i can do, but to wait till an answer is finalise. As for me, i know what i want so i guess i am the waiting party. Things are te never the same, the care, the love, the communication even the way we look into each others eyes. WHY WHY WHY!?
All i have done for the is sleep and eat. I forced myself to enter into my dreams, so i do not need to wake up and talk to anybody except for those i want to. I waited for my stomach starts to ache for food, then i told its time to get up. After eating i went back to sleep again. I dont want to stay at home, home is the last thing in mind that i wanna be in. (for now) But where else can i go? who? What am i going to do? Why i am feeling this way? Am i hurt? Am i crying inside? Am i controlling? Who else knows.
Ever since Ling Choo’s 21st birthday chalet, I have been down till now. Halim reminded me about the kite and string theory. His words pushed me back to reality instantly, hitting me hard on the face and my heart. My heart falls to the down and I am picking up the broken pieces one by one, bit by bit. At this point of time it seems like no one understand or notice that I am unable to smile happily from inside, I just can’t! What is happening? I lost my heart? Or have I lost my dreams?